This blog is adapted from a daily talk given at reflectivemeditation.org/dailyonline. Sessions run 9–10am PT and include a short talk, silent meditation, and group reflection.
A receptive way to practice
In Reflective Meditation we lean toward a receptive approach: letting the experience of meditation be the meditation. Rather than steering the inner world toward a fixed goal—perfect calm, perfect clarity—we soften our usual strategies of control and stay with whatever arises: restlessness, boredom, confusion, old memories, longings, desire.
Following unexpected threads
This receptivity trains us to stay with the unfamiliar and to follow threads we didn’t expect to be part of practice. Certainty loosens. The sit may turn a different way than planned. That capacity carries into daily life, where we don’t need to manage every turn to be okay.
Less “me” at the center
At times a curtain lifts: we’re not the center of the universe or fully in charge of the wheel. Philosopher and Buddhist teacher Jay Garfield puts it this way: we are not selves, but people—actors in overlapping plays; the roles are real, but the supposed solid self is not. That view can be humbling and relieving—less self-involved, more human.
Where recovery and reflection meet
My years in 12-step rooms gave me a different language, but a familiar spirit: choice and control, surrender and support, finding a path for yourself—but not by yourself. “Higher power” doesn’t have to be theistic; it can be sangha, nature, mystery, or the Dharma—anything larger than your isolated will. Both pathways explore what happens when we stop trying to control everything and practice asking for (and receiving) help.
Craving as lost freedom
Reflecting on the First Noble Truth and its causes, I saw craving (tanhā) again with fresh eyes: not desire in general, but out-of-control desire—the thirst that can’t be quenched. It’s less about the object and more about the loss of choice that follows: one more bite, one more drink, one more scroll, one more relationship—and the cycle tightens. Some of us use harm reduction, some abstinence, some sheer grit; all of us, Buddhist or not, know patterns that feel stickier than we’d like.
A welcome for the whole struggle
This practice is a natural fit for people navigating addiction and recovery because we welcome the struggle into meditation itself. We don’t demand transcendence first. We turn toward our actual life—vulnerability, stress, pain, the mixed bag—and discover steadier choices from within the swirl.
Ritual of Reflection
If you’d like, recall a recent moment when control loosened—by choice or by circumstance. Notice what support (human, natural, mysterious) was quietly available. Sense how a little room opens when you don’t have to steer everything.
