Friendship as a Foundation of Practice
Spiritual friendship, or kalyāṇa-mitta, is described in Buddhist texts as “the whole of the path.” The Buddha himself had a deep friendship with his cousin Ananda, who was also his student and attendant. Their relationship shows the complexity of friendship — sometimes holding multiple roles at once — while still allowing growth and support.
In reflective meditation, friendship feels foundational. Over time, I’ve seen people in our groups form close bonds with each other. Even those who join only occasionally often feel a sense of friendliness toward the community.
The Desire for Spiritual Friendship
This desire is real. Many of us have sought it throughout our lives. Recently, I spoke with several people who shared that they had been searching for spiritual friends — and had found them. It’s findable. It’s real.
I’ve experienced it myself. After moving from the Bay Area to Portland, I lost a close spiritual friendship and longed for that connection again. Over time, I found it, and it has continued to grow.
Friendship Through Reflective Meditation
Our practice itself cultivates friendship. Sharing reflections after meditation allows us to know each other in deeper ways. We hear about inner lives, we reflect together, and over time this builds a different kind of friendship than other contexts provide.
It’s not something to force — it emerges naturally from practicing together, listening to one another, and holding space with gentleness.
Closing Reflection
How have friendships — spiritual or otherwise — supported your practice? Where in your life do you notice friendship shaping the way you grow?
A Ritual of Reflection
We invite you to take a few minutes to sit in meditation with this teaching, if you wish. Afterward, you may find it helpful to journal.
✨ What are your thoughts and feelings on this topic?
✨ Is this something you would like to contemplate in meditation?
✨ Where do your thoughts and feelings go after reading this?
✨ Ritual of Reflection: How did that land for you?
About the Daily Online
This reflection comes from one of our Daily Online sessions, held every day from 9:00–10:00 AM PT. Each gathering begins with a short dharma talk, followed by meditation, journaling, and a chance for shared conversation with the teachers.
In Reflective Meditation, we encourage approaching practice with gentleness, kindness, and curiosity. Cameras remain off during meditation so each participant can practice in their own way. Afterward, a few people share their reflections with the teacher of the day, while others observe and learn from the exchange.
Learn more or join us at reflectivemeditation.org/dailyonline.
